queerpoc:

i don’t know ariana grande but i feel like she talks shit about me behind my back

When someone walks slower than me: omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma
When someone walks faster than me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt
When someone walks at the same pace as me: who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the fuck away before I call the cops

lion:

when you open the fridge after your mom went grocery shopping